And We Shall March

"Labor Without Pleasure Makes Us Our Destiny's Slaves." ***

This is not my kitchen.

It's up in the Hills. It has a stove the size of a sedan, enough counter space to run a bowling league, and a hand-built stone BBQ and a firepit with more counter space outside, just off the patio.

It's a gorgeous space brimming with natural light, courtesy of sheets of windows providing a magnificent view of greenery and the glittery city below. I spent many glorious hours in this kitchen rescuing it from its sad life as essentially a neglected set piece, and putting it to use as the gods and his credit line obviously intended. It's all shiny chrome and soapstone and oak butcher block. I never used the dishwasher because it makes me nervous, but the oven. It's got a wok built into it.

Once I got that kitchen up and running it revealed itself, as I suspected it would. It was so warm. The acoustics in there were great for some reason. It got to be where people would come over and, instead of gathering around the ridiculously huge television in the living room to socialize, they'd wander into the kitchen and not leave. Thus, a small pile of stacked bar stools were obtained for overflow use, stored in a corner of the walk-in pantry that on its own was big enough to go for $700 a month as an efficiency studio in some parts of town.

When I arrived on scene there was a slightly less ridiculously huge television in the kitchen, which I ordered removed about two weeks in. It was gone the next day. It never showed up anywhere else in the house, and I didn't think to ask what happened to it at the time.

Soon after that, I decreed the name of that kitchen to be Heart of Gold. He instantly argued that it should insead be named Bistromath. I remain astounded that his assistants and the people in his working life still have no clue of just how fucking deep a geek he is.

Anywho, many months later, the conversation formalizing the terms of !!! I'm Outta Here You Bastard !!! took place in this kitchen, over a bottle of riesling that I brought to the negotiations to go with the last chicken I roasted in the oven, along with coffee that he made because the espresso machine makes me nervous due to what happened that one time I tried to use it. The IOHYB Topic had been in play for a week or so, with some of the related conversations conducted at Great Volume. An extended leaving was necessary because we were trying to find and navigate an exit strategy that would result in this Ending Well as much as possible, because, even then, neither of us wanted to completely excise the other from our general life down the road. It was difficult, but we pulled it off. (There was a brief period of mutual Recrimination And Sulking, but we had factored that into the timeline!)

Once he delivered his failed last pitch trying to get me to change my mind, he stood up and did a silent walk around the kitchen Heart of Gold / Bistromath. When he finished he sat back down next to me on a stool at the counter, topped off my riesling, and said "you'll be back."

I answered with a hearty "fuck you."

But he was right.

This is not my kitchen, but I still have all access to it when either of us are in need of me doing Big Cooking, which is why earlier today ... technically yesterday ... actually it started the night of the day before yesterday because I had to start cooking at night after a rant-filled viewing of the third Transformers movie on blu-ray with his guys who still get wigged out when I'm in the house ... which me and his fiance find hysterical, because even after all this time those younglings Don't Get It, and the three of us choose the entertainment value over explaining it to them ... even as we sometimes feel guilty over not trying to help them prepare for Potential Outcomes And What To Do About Them in their relationships which, as far as we can tell, are based on the lovely fantastic lies fed to us all by pop culture.

And that's why today I was happily back in the Heart of Gold / Bistromath today/yesterday/night before yesterday creating this:

* Four ducks steaming
* Two pans of rolls baking
* One nicely-marbled hunk of Perfectly Normal Beast braising
* One Elvis cake cooling
* A pile of turnips, potatoes, leek and garlic getting all cozy in their bath
* A pot of basmati simmering in saffron-infused water
* Another pot of basmati simmering normal
* A combo of smashed blueberries, pomegranates, cabernet and sugar reducing
* Outside in the fire pit (yes), a cider mulling, a cast iron cornbread with apple and pomegranates, a vodka-soaked cedar plank prepped for a beautiful chunk of halibut

There was so much counter space left - and ripe mangos that were sitting decoratively in a bowl - that I threw together a whipped mango pie Just Because.

It rained today in Los Angeles, which is not something we react to well, but the rain makes this city look like every noir template you people who are not here have ever digested through pop, and I gotta say, it's better in real life than anything you've ever seen on screen.

There's a lot of down time when you cook. Did you know that? I hope you do. That down time meant I spent more than a few moments in the empty house, cozy on the auxillary bridge of my Heart of Gold / Bistromath, which is located on the patio near the fire pit, where I can take the remaining bottle of cab and watch the beautiful wet and gleaming city beneath me through breaks in the fluffy clouds.

Today was a good day.

Meanwhile, I am mostly not online of late because when I'm not hunting for gigs I'm mostly downtown with things I will probably start to talk about at some point. It's a mess, but it's fascinating - and kinda beautiful. In an OMGWTFSERIOUSLY sort of lovely way.

 

** Al Swearengen, philosopher. 

I'm Cheating With This Post In The Interest Of Available Time

Since once I started work today at the awesome temp gig at 10:30 a.m. I would not be able to leave until my backup arrived at 8 p.m., it was important to have a hearty breakfast on site. Breakfast of Champions!

Lemonade in the special cup, spicy seafood cocktail in the clear cup. I got halfway through the mountain of chili curly fries before I had to give up.

Many hours later, dinner was three-cheese pizza, a deep fried pickle, a dipped strawberry and more coffee.

I'll tell you about the awesome garlic later.

Also, I don't think the event organizers meant for the special cups to look like an engorged penis ... but I'm not entirely sure.

Nightscape

Via a link shared at one of the other outlets, this gorgeous city, at night. Watch it full screen!

LA Light from Colin Rich on Vimeo.

O MY GOD YOU GUYS SPACE BATTLESHIP YAMATO EXTENDED CLIP WHICH I JUST NOW SAW

Of course I have no idea what anybody is saying in this clip, due to being a Basic American with command of only one language. I'm working on Spanish*** because where I live that's the most useful second language to pick up, but anything beyond that I'm too dumb/busy/exhausted to learn.

So my hope is that when this AWESOME LOOKING live action Star Blazers comes out on dvd (Hollywood is currently whitewashing the Akira adaptation, so I don't have much faith that this live action Starblazers/Space Battleship Yamato sans white people will show up in a theater near Me, and I have been hunting in the Usual Outlets in town for a dvd over the past year or so but with no luck) it will have English subtitles.

While waiting, I'll just sing the theme song at random!

*** I'm getting better with Spanish. Recently I held my own during six-minute conversation at a bus stop with someone(s) I don't know about the weather and the flowers and the schedules and, apparently, elephants. It was great until they couldn't take it anymore, fell out laughing, switched to English and explained to me the bits I got so very wrong. It was awesome!  Embarassing, but also awesome, just like every other time this happens when I try to unleash my Spanish. I'll get there. It'll take a while, but I'll get there. My experiences so far have shown me that I have an entire city to help me get there.

Great Interview With The Man Responsible For Penguins In Existential Crisis

I love Werner Herzog's  movies, and now I love even more that he gets why why this city is The Greatest!

Los Angeles is just a very exciting city. There’s great excitement, there’s vibrant culture, and there are a lot of things going on here that I wouldn’t relate to filmmaking, but yet they trigger films. For example, I was fascinated by the Galileo space probe, which at the end of an incredible odyssey was sent on a suicide mission into the atmosphere of Jupiter, where it burned into superheated plasma and was gone. Only 30 minutes from where I live there is a mission-control center in Pasadena, and because of this fascination with Galileo I found out that there was a completely unknown NASA archive in downtown Pasadena in a warehouse. I discovered footage of astronauts who filmed on 16-mm celluloid back in 1989, and it is such fantastic footage. In a way it was the backbone of a science-fiction film I made called The Wild Blue Yonder. So you see, the excitements are everywhere, and they don’t have to be connected with Hollywood or production companies.

Award-Winning Badass Designer Laura Brody Throws Down At Sugar Goes Steampunk This Friday

I met Laura Brody last year at the Hollywood Fringe Festival, where she put on Presque Pret a Porter, a fantasic event that got people thinking about what we use, what we waste and pretty clothes. Her event also won the CPSA award at the 2010 Fringe!

This Friday, March 11, is her first featured fashion show Sugar Goes Steampunk. It's gonna rock! You should go. Check out all the deets below.

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There will be live draping, onstage and off, masks for sale (if you need to keep your secret identity safe) wheelchair fashion, circuses and swordplay. At the very least.

Here's the essentials:
Friday, March 11 at 8:00pm - March 12 at 2:00am
at Lot 613, 613 Imperial St., Los Angeles, CA 90021

Take a trip in our time machine and go Steampunk with The Sugar Art and Fashion and Candy Wax Cutie. We will be exploring the fascinating Steampunk culture in an innovative and Sugar kind of way.

The night will begin at 8pm with an artist and photography showcase, followed by a fashion show that kicks off at 10:30pm featuring 15 emerging and underground local fashion and accessory designers.

To top the evening off we will have a live all female sword fighting performance by the ladies of Sword Fighting Inc, the sexy 5 gal dance troupe Cirque de Femmes, and our favorite dude on the turntables DJ Spacecadet Adam to create that party vibe. If that isn't enough to get your heart racing, we have a special solo performance by Jamie Scoles of Nylon Pink, the very talented Jesse Joplin and the Ruckus, and the Dizzy Stilettos!!! To remain true to the Sugar DNA the night will be full of fun and shocking surprises!!!

Purchase presale tickets for only $10
$15 at the door
Street or Valet Parking
Full Bar

This event is being sponsored by Tinsel Tokyo Magazine, Urbansalt.com, ModelsDesired.com, Honey Sugar's, and more.

Come show some L.O.V.E. and experience the M.A.G.I.C., while supporting the very talented people of L.A.'s underground art, music, and fashion scene!

P.S. Don't forget to bring cash so you can shop 'til you drop!!! There will be 15 vendors on site selling one of a kind designer threads, jewels, and unique items! :)

For more information please visit www.SugarArtandFashionShow.com

I've Got A Double Rainbow, Yes I Do, I've Got A Double Rainbow How About You?

Even though I spent the bulk of Stormwatch 2010 in bed and fevered, once I came out of it and IT WAS STILL RAINING, I admit that I was about to crack under the strain. It's been raining and grey for over a week.

Yesterday, when I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE and was roaming around the office explaining how WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE WET, the clouds broke and there was a double rainbow!! Grabbed the crap backup camera, ran up to the roof and stood in the downpour aiming up (BECAUSE IT WAS STILL RAINING), trying to get the entire thing into one shot. I couldn't. It was a FREAKIN' HUGE rainbow.

The pictures aren't great because I'm not very good with the crap backup camera, but here's a few images:

 

Rev. Billy & The Church of Life After Shopping Will Perform In Los Angeles Thursday, Oct. 21, 2010 At RedCat. Tickets $12! GO.

I'm not gone, nor have I abandoned the Homeport.

It's just that there's all sorts of stuff going on sucking up time and precluding me from typing up any unrelated thing that requires more than 140 characters to relate. And since I'm typing on a keyboard were two critical vowels don't work,** while navigating this we-cut-back-on-the-routes-because-we-are-broke city on bus pass due to the definitive death of FrankeJetta, by the time I get home and finish up the day's work? More Typing is not on the list of things I want to do.

One day there will be lemon-soaked napkins. Until then, there will be a slight delay.

This entry is because I remembered that the last time Rev. Billy & The Church of Life After Shopping Gospel Choir came to town in 2008, for the Art Goldberg saint installation (lotsa other info links in that Goldberg link) and I didn't say anything about it ahead of time? Quite a few people bitched in my inbox and, as I later discoverd, bitched in the wild.

So! From the mailing list! Two mailing lists, actually - Redcat and Rev. Billy's!

Rev. Billy & The Church of Life After Shopping Will Perform In Los Angeles On Thursday, Oct. 21, 2010 At RedCat. Tickets Are only $12. Click this here paragraph for the details. A bit of blurbage from the mailing list press release cut/paste below.

I have been tracking their work from a distance for over a decade. I have read both of his books. I have the dvds. I gathered a tribe of zombies in his honor. He is a First Amendment/Social Justice Warrior, and a personal hero. His work and that choir rock. Get out of the house on Oct. 21 and go see them perform.

Here's a recent, fascinating story about them in the New York Times.

I'll be back when I can.

HISTORY

The Church of Life After Shopping is project of The Immediate Life, a New York based arts organization using theater, humor, and grassroots organizing to advance individuals and communities towards a more equitable future - starting today. We partner with citizens, grassroots organizations and progressive visionaries to produce dynamic, informed public campaigns that enact our core values - participatory democracy, ecological sustainability, and the preservation of vibrant communities and local economies.

Since 1996 our project has expanded from a one-man performance artist preaching against consumerism on the sidewalks of Times Square to a 35-person choir and 7-person band with dozens of original songs, a critically acclaimed stage show, a major motion picture and multiple media platforms. We have demonstrated commitment to educating the public about the consequences of unsustainable consumption.  Our message--consuming less--is the single most effective and immediate response an individual can take to immediately halting the climate crisis.  This same message has reached millions of people and has contributed to the public's increasing awareness of the relationship between shopping and climate change. Besides our long-term commitment to promoting sustainable consumption, our organization's efforts to revitalize public space and defend the first amendment have been documented all over the world.

Our ability to generate popular support and attract media attention has resulted in resounding successes in several collaborative campaigns, among them the cessation of Boreal clear cutting by The Limited Brands, the recognition of Ethiopian coffee trademarks by Starbucks Inc, the abandonment of restrictive film permitting by the city of New York, the designation of PS 64 (New York Public School) as a historical landmark, the preservation of the Poe House, and successful campaigns by many grassroots groups, including the Retail Action Project, The Restaurant Opportunity Center and The Street Vendors Project.

** What I have to do is type without vowels, then go copy an 'e' from somewhere and paste it all over where needed, then go copy an 'a' from somewhere and do the same.  (Yeah. Frank Pembleton in the garage with the key got NOTHIN on me.)

Artists Helping Artists: ComedySportz LA Needs Help Now

Corps get bailouts. Artists don't. Ever has it been, fairness be damned.

(This post is unelegant and scattered due top-of-head typing hot after coming off another 16-hour day. Over the next couple/few days I'll return to decorate it with some pictures I've not yet shared, but I won't rewrite it to be Pretty. I don't have the time.)

Besides being the longest-running improv venue in LA, ComedySportz LA gave me a chance when I decided to finally step out and attempt to do a live stage thing as part of the inaugural Hollywood Fringe Festival, despite my complete and total lack of credentials. I have longed to be part of theater as more than audience at least once, and to me a Fringe means here's your opportunity.

I will not go into details, but when everything went to Hell barely two weeks before opening night and I was in tears trying to decide if I should cancel or attempt to rebuild, a CSLA rep called me - a complete and total unknown quantity - and forced a Conversation that was long and ended up with me deciding to Roll Out despite what seemed to be an overwhelming obstacle at the time.

I will never forget what that man said to me at the start of that Conversation. I have called upon those words more than once since.

There was no benefit for them in encouraging me to rebuild. By contract they could have said Don't Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out. But they didn't. I didn't understand Why then. I think I kinda do now, but I had to ponder it muchly in the time since Fringe ended.

As my show improved over its 5 performances from opening to closing night (and it did) that is solely because of the candid input from their people. Seriously...I was so 101-level ignorant going into it that I didn't understand what a tech rehearsal meant! Their candid input wasn't restricted to what was on stage, it encompassed the Big Picture stuff that is part of this type of art life.

What I know about the people who do the Samwise work to run ComedySportz LA: pretty much all of them are also artists. Improv yes. Visual artists, too. Writers. Musicians.

They do the hefty admin Samwise work needed to keep that space operational for others while also pursuing their own art life. And that lovely venue is also ADA accessible, which is supremely important to my heart. And it's a family-friendly improv venue, which is rare.

Full details about the current economic crisis and how you can help are available at the link. Watch the video:

We need your help.  The economy has taken its toll, and our plan is to close at the end of October. It is possible that we can prevent the closure, but not without the support of you, our loyal fans.

We are asking you to step forward and support us--not by giving us a handout, but by buying tickets to come laugh with us. ComedySportz is selling ticket packs at a tremendous discount. If we sell enough of these ticket packs we can perhaps push back the closure of our theatre and perhaps eliminate the budget deficit altogether. This is possible if we have enough support.

A couple of weeks ago a friend and I were there with a full picnic to enjoy a concert featuring fab local musicians on the patio. Last month I saw a stand up showcase, a hilarious scifi improv show and a regular hilarious improv show. I've been eying my calendar trying to find room to catch the female improv Shakespeare show running there now, and the college/student student shows.

If you are not local, or if you are but for whatever reason you don't want to purchase a ticket pack, you can give a straight donation via that link. (I get what they're saying with the We Don't Want A Handout thing, but dude. Now is not the time for that sort of humble.)

So. What am I gonna do, besides post this asking for whoever reads this to give them money to keep the doors open? Earlier today I purchased some tech that I need for a Thing down the road. Haven't even opened it yet, and planned to spend part of the holiday weekend setting it all up and figuring out how it works. But when I think about it, actually I can continue to make due with what I already have for a few more payday cycles, so I'm going to return the tech tomorrow, take that money, hand it over to ComedySportz LA. The ticket pack I will get in exchange I will further donate to a worthy nonprofit that I happen to know has a garden party coming up later this month which includes a silent auction.

I can take a small action to help two organizations with one strike. If my life were not paycheck-to-paycheck, I would do more. As it is, I will do what I can now.

Whatever you can do to help, please do so. I'm already trying to figure out what I can do for Hollywood Fringe 2011 at that venue, so learning about the threat of closed doors was a shock to the heart.

OMG Yes All About Me. I want it I NEED IT to still be there so I can learn and evolve and get better at what I want to do. I need these people at ComedySportz LA to pull it off. I trust them. And I pretty much operate from a default setting of Trust No One. But these are good people who operate beyond themselves. They give in service to the bigger picture.

Meanwhile, don't know when regular service will resume around here due to the fairly brutal schedule I've been on for the past few weeks (some of it fun, so it's not all bad), but as soon as it can, it will.

Jeri Curl Pomade, Victorian Style. No. SERIOUSLY.

Okay, so I've been going through a training program for this Thing I've wanted to explore and possibly do for a very long time, but only now got around to doing something about it.

Yesterday, a member of the Most Awesome Overlord Team walked us through one of the key houses as part of the educational program. We have to know what we're talking about when guiding visitors through these houses. During that 2 hours of Fascinating, we were presented with a piece of furniture and a piece of It Has A Function, Actuallly, lace on that furniture, and the first thing that popped into my head at that moment of explainer was JERI CURL, but I didn't say anything at first. Instead, internal mind hilarity ensued before I opened my mouth. When our Overlord said yeah, they oiled up their hair with Serious Intent? EVEN MORE internal hilarity!

Don't belive? Here is Mr. Beeton's recipe for perfect Victorian hair pomade:

An excellent Pomatum.

2256. INGREDIENTS.— 1–1/2 lb. of lard, 1/2 pint of olive-oil, 1/2 pint of castor-oil, 4 oz. of spermaceti, bergamot, or any other scent; elder-flower water.

Mode .— Wash the lard well in the elder-flower water; drain, and beat it to a cream. Mix the two oils together, and heat them sufficiently to dissolve the spermaceti, which should be beaten fine in a mortar. Mix all these ingredients together with the brandy and whatever kind of scent may be preferred; and whilst warm pour into glass bottles for use, keeping them well corked. The best way to liquefy the pomatum is to set the bottle in a saucepan of warm water. It will remain good for many months.

IT WILL REMAIN FOR A GOOD MANY MONTHS.

Of course I'm going to make a batch, just to see What Happens. I will report back. I will do so not actually having placed a drop of this stuff on my actual head because I'm rather fond of my head. Bascially I'm gonna see how long before it all goes rancid.

The housemaid who studies her own ease will certainly be at her work by six o’clock in the summer, and, probably, half-past six or seven in the winter months, having spent a reasonable time in her own chamber in dressing. Earlier than this would, probably, be an unnecessary waste of coals and candle in winter.

THAT LAST BIT. WAIT. WHAT. LET ME READ THAT LAST LINE AGAIN. READ IT ALONG WITH ME WON'T YOU?

And then I get to the WAIT. WHAT. of the part where servant is expected to clean the rust spots from a fire grate with a large smooth pebble from the road, sufficiently large to hold comfortably in the hand, with which rub the steel backwards and forwards one way, until the desired polish is obtained.

I mock, but the small bits I have learned about Beeton since discovering this work yesterday? She's badass (within the frame of being a privileged middle class sort of white woman, which came with its own restrictions of the period). The original work I'm snagging snippets from is over 1, 100 pages long. She started compiling it at age 21. She died at age 28. She was supposed to be just  somebody's wife, but decided to be a wife *and* journalist instead.

Technically I don't need to know a lot about Mrs. Beeton in personal detail. Mainly I need to quickly get a grasp on the wide influence of her work. But the teeny bits I've learned about her so far as a person? Makes me want to learn more.

ps: Think that recipe is bad? That's only becuse you haven't seen the one that requires 2 ounces of Fuller's Earth - aka absorbent cat litter - 1 ounce of dried fowl's dung (fowl not specified, let alone how you're supposed to collect an ounce of it), and the juice of two big onions. All of which is to be boiled with vinegar and soap before being applied. #OMFG