And We Shall March

Conversations With The Man - Michael Bay Edition

The Man: Have you ever seen a Transformers trailer you didn't think was awesome?

Me: Already you're trying to break us up???

I'm taking my panties and going home to my cat! My cat understands! My cat doesn't judge me!!!

 

O. Wow. Is It July Yet? When Is It Gonna Be July?

Transformers 3 Dark Of The Moon Theatrical Trailer from Michael Bay Dot Com on Vimeo.

"They're Already Dead. You Should Be More Scared Of The Living."

That's a line spoken by a child in the documentary "Death of a Cemetery," which is about a community of poor people who have lived in a cemetery in the Philipines since the 1800s, building a vibrant community over the generations that includes restaurants and shopping districts and stuff as they served as caretakers for the richer people buried there. Many families live inside the mausoleums, as if they are condos.

Unfortunately the site does not have provisions to embed the trailer, and as far as I can tell it's not on YouTube, so all I can do is link to the website, where you will find the trailer. It's not a good trailer, truth be told, but the story - which I learned about due to  obsessive research about newly discovered to me the Mountain Goats - sounds awesome. (The film poster was done by the guy who designed the latest MG album cover)

So totally want to see this one.

Attack The Block - O.M.F.G.

"We have to call the police."

"You'd be better off calling the Ghostbusters, love."

This is why I have an all-region dvd player. 'Cuz you know what? I completely doubt that the town that is making all all-white version of Akira will let this movie stand on its own over here. Or maybe anywhere.

Brought to my attention via inbox. Rock!

I'm Posting This Because Of My Recent EPIC WIN Elsewhere And The Fact That I'm Petty Like That

"Remember everything that I've told you/And I'm telling you again that it's true."

Heh.

And just to irritate him even more? I note this one from Tina Turner.

Hater Can't Hate No More!

Update! After perusing the inbox, a bit of clarification is needed. That beautiful, emotional, lyrical video was directed by Michael Bay, which the person I was Nerd Slapping with didn't know until I Gleefully informed him.

I'm a horrible terrible person and I should be ashamed of myself.

But of course, I'm not.

*snicker*.

I Just Found Out Hollywood Is Making An All White Version Of Akira

And I'm off to move hell and high water to get a copy of the script.

The story takes place in the rebuilt New Manhattan where a leader of a biker gang saves his friend from a medical experiment. There are two major roles, and I'm told that for Tetsuo, Robert Pattinson, Andrew Garfield and James McAvoy have been given the new script. For the role of Kaneda, the script has been given to Garrett Hedlund, Michael Fassbender, Chris Pine, Justin Timberlake and Joaquin Phoenix. The two leads are expected to come from that group of actors.

Yes, it's going to suck.

No, I'm not gonna go see it.

I've had enough of this shit.

It Appears I Got Over My Snit About The Pan African Film Festival Moving To Culver City Just In Time To Not Actually Be Able To Attend

I loved PAFF and the companion artisan market that used to be part of it, and had been every year since I moved to Cali - up until it relocated from Magic's theater to someplace down in Culver City, which irritated me so much I *flounced* off in a huff. Flounced!

To zero effect. My friends were all "yeah, you're right..." and kept going to PAFF. The only impact my flouncing had was I missed a whole bunch of movies you will not be able to see easily in this country otherwise.

As it is an amazing good festival, and I've missed it, I decided that this year I would get over Myself and return to PAFF, keyboard in hand!

But, um. The 2011 fest kind of snuck up on me right when I had neither the time nor money to attend. Oops.

So! if I had actually gotten to it this year (the festival ends today) this is what I would have seen at the Pan African Film Festival. Too, I had planned to review again:

Pumzi: A young woman in post-apocalyptic Kenya is determined to leave the confines of her hi-tech city and search for her dream of a “green” future. Currently in production to be expanded into a full-length sci-fi feature film, this is the latest work of Wanuri Kahiu, director of the 2010 PAFF Best Feature “From A Whisper.”

Legacy: When a military effort to tackle an arms dealer ends in the capture and torture of Malcolm Gray, a decorated anti-terrorist black-ops soldier, he later finds himself back in his Brooklyn apartment struggling to overcome the effects of severe paranoia and anxiety. While isolated, he reflects on the inconsistencies of the assignment gone wrong and begins to question the loyalty of his own brother, a senator on the verge of a presidential campaign. Stars Idris Elba and Eamonn Walker. Trailer.

Viva Riva: Riva is a peasant turned sharp operator in post-civil war Angola. A man with charm and ambition in equal measure. War torn Kinshasa, Congo (DRC) is an inviting place across the border. With gasoline in short supply in Kinshasa, he and his sidekick steal barrels of fuel they can sell there for a huge profit. The ruthless criminals that he has stolen the gasoline from pursue him in the lawless streets of Kinshsa.

Soul Boy: 14-year-old Abila lives with his parents in Kibera, one of the largest slums in East Africa. One morning the teenager discovers his father ill and delirious. Someone has stolen his soul, mumbles the father as he sits huddled in a corner. Abila is shocked and confused but wants to help his father and goes in search of a suitable cure. Supported by his friend Shiku, he learns that his father has gambled his soul away in the company of a spiritual woman. The teenager doesn’t want to believe it and sets about looking for the witch. When he finally discovers her in the darkest corner of the ghetto, she gives him seven challenging tasks to save his father’s lost soul. Abila embarks on an adventurous journey which leads him right through the microcosm of his home town.

I Sing of a Well: Set in the ancient Mali Empire before the emergence of white slave traders, Prince Wenambe wins the throne from his father when he hands over the kingdom to Mansa Musa for protection from slave raiders. Basking in his glory as royalty, Wenambe tirelessly seeks after the beautiful Soraya who is betrothed to and in love with Dume, a lowly hunter. Revolving around a love triangle that is fuelled by pure love, passion, uncertainty and abuse of power, the story unfolds with elements of humor, suspense and romance.

Besouro: This martial arts action film set in 1920s Bahia tells the “true story” of a legendary capoeira (African martial art) fighter.

Africa United: The extraordinary story of three Rwandan kids who walk 3000 miles to the Soccer World Cup in South Africa. Using a sackload of ingenuity and sass (and a World Cup wall chart for a map), the pint-sized protagonists set off through the endless horizons of Africa in pursuit of an unlikely dream. And as they walk they gather a tribe – a ragamuffin team – of broken and brilliant characters who help them negotiate a way through a series of glorious, dangerous, hilarious and often bizarre situations.

The Figurine: Two buddies and a girl–all down on their luck–have their lives changed after one of them discovers “Araromire,” a mysterious figurine in an abandoned shrine which, according to ancient legend, bestows seven years of good luck. But no one told them about the next seven years. This is a multi-cultural and contemporary feature highlighting essence and efficacy of tradition, friendship, betrayal and love. It transcends both the ancient and the modern day. Winner of the 2010 African Movie Academy Award for Best Feature.

Scientists Under Attack: Arpád Pusztai and Ignacio Chapela have two things in common: both are distinguished scientists and both of their careers are in ruins. Both men issued warnings against the sale and consumption of genetically modified (GM) food and both are now suffering the fate of those who criticize the incorporation of GM foods into the foods we eat. Can consumers trust the objectivity of the findings of a scientific community influenced by the money and power of agro-chemical multinational corporations, many of whom finance the testing of foods before they hit our grocery shelves?

The Manuscripts of Timbuktu: All but forgotten by the West, the life of powerful Black icon and one of Africa’s greatest scholars, Ahmed Baba, is examined in the context of his life in Timbuktu along with the thousands of remarkable manuscripts of Timbuktu. Once a center of world scholarship and learning, Timbuktu was at the crossroad of trade and ideas. Hundred of universities, run by scholarly families, hosted students from the world over. None, however were held in higher esteem than Ahmed Baba.

Katanga Business: Shot like a political thriller, this story of manipulation, corporate greed and political corruption takes place in the Democratic Republic of Congo, one of the world’s richest mining resources. While the inhabitants of Katanga live in extreme poverty, the fight for control by multinationals is rivaled by China, newly arrived with its billions of dollars. Staged on economic war, Belgian filmmaker Thierry Michel explores Central Africa and tells a tale of globalization and international corporate interest conducted without regard for the rights and benefit of the indigenous people, the true owners of the area’s resources.

Hole in the Head: A Life Revealed: Human experimentation was widely used in the early to mid-twentieth century in the United States. People, especially Blacks, were constantly being used by science to serve as human guinea pigs without their knowledge or consent. This is the little-known but true story of Vertus Hardiman, who at the age of five became the victim of a medical experiment that left him with a painful deformity that forced him to cover his head for 80 years. To cast light on what happened to him as well as other young children living in a small Black Indiana town during the 1930s, Vertus returns to the place where the experiments were conducted. Follow this amazing life-journey of an exceptional human being who in spite of a life-altering calamity allows himself to live life without bitterness. Trailer.

Oh well. Next time!

 

"Jonathan Kos-Read is 'the token white guy' in Chinese cinema"

When I see him in stuff, and I see him in a lot of stuff, I've always wondered "who is that guy?" Now I know! My fave line in the story: "My plan was to find a way to be awesome," he said. "I know how that sounds."

The rich, arrogant foreigner comes to China for business, but he ends up falling in love with what the script invariably calls an "Oriental beauty."

He pursues and tempts her for a few episodes, but in the end the virtuous lady makes the proper choice of staying true to her Chinese love interest.

Well, most of the time.

"Occasionally she'll stay with me," shrugs Jonathan Kos-Read, an actor from Torrance who's made a career out of playing foreigners on the Chinese screen. "But if she does, she'll either live in unhappiness, or she'll die."

 

I'm Gonna Guess You've Never Seen Chocolate, Or The Badass Thai Woman Who Is Its Star

Chocolate is about an autistic woman who beats down as many people as necessary in order to save her Mom...without benefit of wirework or CGI.

I have an all-region dvd player for a reason.

Chocolate came up late this weekend via a buddy who discovered that Ong Bak 3 is a reality (I thought he was a monk now but maybe he went on Monk Leave or something to do this???), which said buddy shared with me in an attempt to make me feel better about Cuddle Kitty's near demise on Friday (much panic, tears, more panic and depleting of the replacement car fund to keep him alive) which of course lead to a discussion of both Chocolate and The Legend of Suriyothai (which features a different kind of badass warrior woman, with bonus ! Combat Elephants ! I loooove that movie), and also arguing over Kenny Rogers lyrics (which, if you were there to witness the evolution of this conversation, the segue to Rogers makes Total Sense).

His plan to distract me worked! And it turns out many clips from Chocolate are on YouTube. Here's the closing battle scene:

 

You're welcome.

Zombie Sightings And Airbender And Worldcup And Hollywood Fringe And Frieda Paras-Jones And General Getting Back To Life Sort Of Rambling

Now that we're on the other side of the terrifying/thrilling/exhausting/absolutely fucking amazing first-ever Hollywood Fringe Festival, we're slowly getting back to normal operations around here. I'm starting with the vast pile of I Cannot Deal With Any Email Unrelated To Fringe Until This Is Over, quickly followed by catching up on the RSS reader thingy and news outlets unrelated to World Cup.

I'll have more to say about Fringe next week, mostly about other people, probably. Konstantine! Laura! David! Shelby! Jacquetta! Khalil! ComedySportz! ABBIE SANGRIA!

At this moment dunno how I can talk about Moi experience without getting all gushy, and truthfully I'm still processing it all. These post-Fringe days have been emotionally similar to post-CCI days, which was very much a surprise, considering. So I'll talk about other people first, and by the time I get to Moi perhaps I can be more Informational Objective about that entry and not all happythrilledgratefulteary. But Goonan's going to get the overly-long gushy version. So far, Goonan doesn't seem to mind when I drop a 3K email on her. God how I love that woman.

Small HFF Preview: You know those slashy G.I. Joe conversations you have? Like you do? Let me tell you, there's NOTHING to prepare you for standing onstage about to talk slashy G.I. Joe stuff, only to look down and see sitting in the front row the man who voiced the G.I. Joe you're talking slashy about. O.M.G.

Onward.

Throughout all this, Frieda Paras-Jones died. Not fair. At all. The first of her three memorials was Wednesday night, and it was beautiful. Yes, this is a woman whose impact was so broad that three memorial services will barely contain it all. To my regret (and my cowardly fault) I never became a friend of hers because I was too scared to put myself before her to accept or reject me as a potential friend. But I admired her fiercely and learned from her in a gut-punch way. I kinda need to share that gut-punch story - when she told me I disappointed her and she was absolutely right - so will do so within the next couple of weeks. Right now my heart is with Guy & Carlos & Roxanne and all those at Southern, Northern and Bristol who knew her Truly. I knew her as an icon. They knew her as a person. My god that they have to go through this loss.

Meanwhile.

This amazing roundup of zombie-related items was in my reader thingy. Go forth to the homeport of PZ Meyrs and click on all of the links! ZOMBIES.

I'm very glad to read reports that Hollywood's whitewashed Airbender is actually a piece of shit. Good. I'm even happier that none of my close friends have so far wavered from their decision to abstain. For four of them this is really super hard to do, but they grocked to the Big Picture principle and rolled out. I'm glad that they're not missing a good movie, at least.

M. Night? I've seen all your movies, save this newest one. I am one of the very few people who saw Praying With Anger in an actual movie theater 18 years ago; that movie made me file away your name in my head for future tracking. I loved Unbreakable and The Sixth Sense, thought Signs was a hoot, felt I've sat through films far worse than The Village & The Lady In Water, both of which at least entertained a bit.

But Airbender? Fuck you onto seven generations for your complicity in this abominable whitewash, your pathetic attempts to O Lawd What We Gon Do Now jig dance around it in media interviews I will not link to, and your general cowardice. Fuck you and your entire production team and studio. It's 2010. STOP WHITEWASHING. JUST STOP.

You'll make some money on Airbender because most white people do not care about the big picture and will go see it anyway. So it goes. So it has always gone. But you need to make more than "some money" on this I think. You need to make lots. If you have taken excellent pan-Asian source material, put it through the whitewash wringer and turned it into LCD crap of middling interest to the broader non-fan audience? You'll be lucky to earn out your multimillion base expenses. Which of course means you've lost (until the dvds roll out, anyway). Good. And fuck you.

And so.

World Cup World Cup World Cup! The only sport I care about! Gorgeous men from all over Earth playing The Beautiful Game. We're in the kill-round stage now. I have two brackets - the fun one and the real one. In the real one, so far I have only been wrong about one game. This entry auto-posts one hour before My Boys From Brasil take on the Netherlands at WTF Time in the obscenely early morning. I'll be on the couch wearing one of my (four) Brasil shirts, with a giant mug of coffee and even more faith that Brasil will move from the quarterfinals to the semis.

So! From this site I give you my Brasil team member name!