Raise that praise napkin has become my new favorite phrase that I am going to use until people get sick of hearing me say it! A couple of local peeps already are sick of hearing it, and I just learned it on Sunday.
I'll explain the full context of the phrase later, but for now let this Fan of Pigment Raise That Praise Napkin to this Awesome List of Fuck All You Mothafuckas.
I must add that 'wild unicorn heard' is absolutely hilarious, too. Someone who knows how to do those things should make us a T-shirt invoking that concept, with partial proceeds going to Carl Brandon Society, Vere Noir and the Octavia E. Butler Memorial Scholarship. I would suggest that the design also include at least one or two Orcs in full combat regalia riding the wild unicorns. Or perhaps slaughtering them. Whichever works best. I would so buy as many of that T-shirt as I could afford, one to keep, the rest to do Other Things with.
Update! The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of Combat Unicorns being ridden by War Orcs. Why can't there be combat uniorns? I think there was something like a combat unicorn in the Monster Manual back in the day. I'll look it up when I get home. There was that movie years ago that had combat Clydesdales with flames on the hoof! Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld had a flying combat unicorn (it was like a unicorn/pegasus. It was awesome. That was a fun book...too bad DC cancelled it). Man I wish I could draw.
Update 2! Okay, the thing I was thinking of is called a Ki-Rin. It's on p. 57 of the Monster Manual from my Youth (4th edition). Turns out it's not actually a unicorn, but it's similar to a unicorn and it's the beast that I think of when I think Combat Unicorn. I'm going to give it it's own post because I have to take some pictures to go along with it. Of course not saying at all that whatever fantabulous Wild Unicorn/Orc FAYMF products that emerge from The List needs to incorporate a Ki-Rin...just completing my thought from earlier today as I just now got home and said I would do this when I got home.
Update 3! Actually, okay let's put the Ki-Rin here because that makes sense, and the other stuff in it's own post..
This is the thing I think of as a Combat Unicorn, but it actually isn't. It appears on p. 57 of the 4th edition of the Monster Manual. The one in the MM is not colored, but mine is because I colored a huge chunk of both my MM, Fiend Folio, Player's Handbook and Dungeon Master's Guide. I probably did this because I'm a girl, and because I can't draw but I can color and very much enjoy doing it.