And We Shall March

!!!! BRUUUUUNNOOOOO !!!!! More From The 2005 Edition of Comic Con International: San Diego

Stupid Things I Have Said: The 2005 Edition of Comic Con International: San Diego

Me:  "Why are you holding that folder in front of your face?"
Him:  "I have keen peripheral vision."
Me:  "What?"
Him:  "Guy with the camera."
Me:  "What camera?"

The 2005 Edition of Comic Con International: San Diego

Favorite Worker Bee Moment:

• When Stan Lee came over to Bruce Campbell to say hello and shake hands during Campbell's autograph session. The people in the line freaked (as is natural because lord knows I did). My fellow worker bees and I just started grabbing cameras from people who were not standing in the front of line, taking pictures for them, giving their cameras back, and grabbing somebody else's camera. I have no idea how many pictures we took, but I know we helped make a lot of fans very happy to be able to capture such a rare moment. Also, doing that helped prevent a stampede.

Actually, this incident could qualify as a Stupid Things I Have Said entry:

Me:  "Holy shit. That's Stan Lee!"
Bruce:  (Glances up)  "Yup."  (Continues to sign autographs)
Me:  "Umm... He's coming this way."
Bruce:  (Glances up)  "Uh-huh."  (Continues to sign autographs)
Me:   "Bruce. He's coming over here."
Bruce: (Glances up)  "He's not here yet, baby."  (Finishes one more autograph)
Me:  (To AA volunteer)  "Uhhh... "(Volunteer goes "Ummm" back at me. I make eye contact with the Elite guy, just in case the people in line go completely apeshit.)

Then The Man and The King do a guy hug and the crowd goes wild, cameras everywhere. The volunteers and I snap picts for people while the pair stand there talking and smiling at each other. Then Stan leaves.

Me:   "So. You know him, huh?"
Bruce:  "Yeah. Great guy." (Continues signing autographs)

"Baby" is a word Bruce uses often. Its effect upon women is devestating. We (I mean THEY) would just turn into melty giggles. In all my years as a guest wrangler, I've only had one other guest who could make women squeal (or fall into a stunned stupor, or burst into tears) just by looking at them. Thank goodness these men handle that great power with a great sense of responsibility.

Here's a tip to anyone who hopes to see Campbell at one of the remaining stops on his book tour -- don't try to give him anything. Shake his  hand, get his autograph, talk to him, pose for a picture. All that is great! Show him your fan love that way. But don't try to give him your dvd, your cd, the picture of him you drew, or a chainsaw. I won't tell you what he'll say to you should you try to give him something, mainly because it's only funny when he says it (when I repeated it to friends they just stared at me blankly), but save yourself the trouble. He knows you love him, baby. You don't have to give him anything else to prove it. You showed up and that's enough.

Fabulous Highlights From The Big Show:

• Eddie! The con does not begin until I've had my Eddie Moment. He is the first person from whom I ever purchased original art. This year he was displaying pages from "The Fate of the Artist," the latest entry in his astonishing Alec series. I shall purchase my copy the instant they hit the streets.
• Getting my very own autographed copy of Gunned Down. What was cool is they all signed it and delivered it up to me where I was working because I couldn't come down to the floor. What sweeties! And I am such an egoist I autographed it, too. Yes, I autographed my own copy of the anthology. "To Myself, with frank admiration."***
• More not-white people EVERYWHERE. I've been casually tracking this since my first year attending con, when my young ward and I counted an estimated 176 black people at the show. Now there are so many folks of all ethnicities, ages and genders crammed on the floor I wouldn't even attempt to count.   
• Meeting the guys who did the much-missed DeeVee anthology. They're from Australia! Also, they had Man Vibes, always a good thing.
• Learning about tons of new indy books I'm looking forward to picking up.
• My ultra-cool Dave Cooper decorated Altoid box! Actually decorated by Juliette, but with a Dave Cooper theme and lots and lots of glitter. It is the Most Fabulous Thing Ever.  Thank you so very much, Juliette!
• Obtaining the poster that is the ENVY of everyone at the office. All it cost me was a Peanuts lanyard. Many, many thanks to He Who Is So Wonderful made that trade with me. Next year I'm putting you on the freshly baked cookie list.
• I got a new Long Tail Kitty book!
• Every time I whipped past the Nickelodeon booth, which was strewn with children lounging in brightly colored, comfy jelly bean bags watching television, I giggled. I wish I had a picture of it.

Not So Fabulous Highlights From The Big Show:

• There were no Super F*ckers shirts in baby-T sizes. They didn't even MAKE any!
• Ditto with the "Earth girls are delicious" shirts.
• And of course, the Miskatonic University shirts also failed to show up in any size other than Bag.
• EARTH TO COMIC BOOK RELATED T-SHIRT PEOPLE: Not everyone wants to walk around in a size L or XL sack. You people are missing out! I have been annoyed about this issue ever since the Mage lightning bolt shirts with the kiss on it came out years ago, and they only made them in man sizes.
• Another year without Beanworld earrings.
• Nobody's made a Kid Miracleman pendant either. It is OBVIOUS that someone should make, in sterling silver, a pendant of Kid Miracleman impaled by the steel beam. The only pendant I've seen like that was worn by a character in one of the comics.  Now, if you put such an item in the actual book, is it not CRUEL to then fail to manufacture it?
• By the time I happened upon the booth selling the incredible, jeweled gaming dice, it was late Sunday afternoon and I didn't have any more money. Not if I wanted to check out of the hotel without Incident, anyway.
• The cleaning ladies at the hotel took my Mavis/Supernatural Law coffee cup on Friday morning and they still hadn't managed to find it by the time show was over and I checked out. As I can't get another one, I am very pissed.
• Finding out after the fact that there was a Naked Cosmos thing on the floor, with costumes and everything. AND I MISSED IT.
• I didn't have time to go to the Los Bros signing to collapse at their feet and weep while washing their sneakers with my dreads. I guess that's actually not a bad thing, what with the terms of the restraining order and all.
• Once again I forgot to try and get a picture of myself with Stormtrooper Elvis.
• Where were the Klingons?
• More evidence that I'm getting old and out of touch ... Every year there are more and more people walking around in costumes I can't identify, and it always turns out they're dressed as a manga or anime person.

I love show! Can't wait until next year.

*** Half of you know the origin of that inscription. The rest of you don't, and so are are loooooosers.

Bruce Campbell, God of Comic Con (A Tale From the 2005 Edition of Comic Con International: San Diego)

"Welcome to the Bruce Campbell autograph signing! Disobey the rules I shouted to you earlier at your peril!"

Photo courtesy of  Mr. M, whose mad shutterbug skills are legendary. Thanks, dude!

Comments Through Sunday

There is a reason I don't run comments on this site. Mainly it's comments mean additional stuff I have to keep track of. The reason I keep missing Hell's Kitchen is because I keep forgetting to turn on the television. I can't manage to watch television, you think I can manage keeping up with comments and spams and trackback things? I don't even know what a trackback IS.

The point here is to run my mouth and be lazy.

But I will turn on comments for the posts dealing with the recent and wonderful Geek Vegas. Those posts begin tomorrow (Thursday) and end on Sunday. (I think. I have to check.)

The funny part is, I'm going to turn the comments on, and nobody's going to say anything. But the link spammers will be about I'm sure!

Have fun!

Wednesday Spam Haiku

Free erection drugs

Handjob are my specialty

You blocked my IM

Sundays With St. Electus

Just setting up a new category.  Move along. Nothing to see here, yet.

It Might Be 98-degrees Outside, But This Chicken Isn't Going To Roast Itself

Food always makes me feel better. Cooking food always makes me feel Super Better. The washing of the dishes part is problematic, but the gathering of the implements, the mixing and tasting, the making of the mess, and the tweaking are all just fab.

Besides sulking over the decision of our elected leaders to ignore the spirit and letter of America with their appalling vote last Thursday, I had another reason to get down in the kitchen. I realized that if I want to alter Mr. Magic's alarming habit of camping out at In 'n Out as soon as he gets off the plane from an assignment, it is incumbent on me to provide an alternative. That this hit during my traditional Post-con Refusal To Leave The House For Any Reason Except More Cigs means it all worked out perfectly.

I made:
1. Julia's roast chicken. That would be the great Julia Child, whom I was greatly honored and humbled to meet and (sort of) cook for a few years ago. The (sort of) part of that story is long, and yes, it involves my previous profession. Perhaps I'll tell it here one day. I use her basic roast chicken recipe, tweaking it with the addition of 10-15 garlic buds stuck under the skin, and eliminating the carrots. I use green apples instead to get the sweet tone. Also I add a lot more pepper, onions and turnips. I like savory chicken. Usually when I cook anything with a skin I peel off the cooked skin, salt it and deep fry it as a special treat for myself. Deep fried halibut skin is my favorite. But as this chicken is an attempt to wean someone off of double-doubles, the skin remains safely on the chicken, mocking me. All of the veggies - onions, celery, yukon golds, mushrooms, turnips and green apples - I did the usual with. Mash it up, boil it down with wine and strain it several times until it turns into a tasty killer gravy. (That's something I came up with years ago. It takes FOREVER but it's worth it.) The toughest part about Julia's roast chicken is the Baste Every 10 Minutes thing. It sounds excessive, but if you don't do it the difference is vast. For one, the bird is GORGEOUS. It also turns out very moist. So I just sprawl on the kitchen floor for two hours and read. This time I went back and forth between "Eyewitness Auschwitz" by Filip Muller and "The Magnificent Activist: The Writings of Thomas Wentworth Higginson."

2. Two gallons of Jamaica. Pronounced ha-MY-kah. God bless my Mexican brethren for introducing me to this drink. However, I use an ancient Egyptian recipe as base. When I first learned of Jamaica, I of course hit the Internet(s) and discovered this drink has been around since the pyramids. I have tried and tweaked several different versions of this drink and find the Egyptian one the simplest to make and the Most Tasty. Perhaps I'll make a batch to bring down to the San Diego faire.

3. A tomato tart. Using the tomatoes my neighbors gave me from their Garden of Eden. All my tomatoes died after one season. So did the herbs, the daises and the corn. The collard greens are doing fine, but collards are like roaches. I made an extra tart for them.

4. A fig fold-over. I don't really have a name for this. It's something I made up because there's two fig trees in the yard so I had to come up with something or be buried in wasted figs. Think of it as fig ravioli. This time I put a little bit of cinnamon and nutmeg in the pastry. It came out okay. Something's still off, but I'm not sure what. I think next time I'll wrap the puff in banana leaves, put it in the coals and see what happens.

5. Mom's mac & cheese. Duh. With my special addition of jalapeno paste.

6. Russian tea cookies. Which I am not sharing.

7. Ho-Ho Cake. You know what a Hostess Ho-Ho is? Well, I use one of Martha's chocolate cake recipes, then cut it in half, scoop out some of the insides and fill the trench with homemade whipped cream and thickened homemade chocolate frosting. Then I put the top back on and seal it with grenache, which I also make from scratch. I started this Friday night because, like The Greatest Sugar Cookies In The Known Universe(tm) it takes a couple of days to make. This cake was picked up on Sunday afternoon by the person who requested it. He's trying to lure a woman who has a chocolate jones. The Ho-Ho Cake will definitely get her that much closer to his bed, provided the boy has enough sense to keep his mouth shut about where it came from. Later he can tell her. But now? That would be a Bad Idea.

8. Mango salad. This is a recipe I got from the Long Tail Kitty cookbook Lark Pien put out a couple of years ago. It's mangoes, onions and jalapeno. My tweak is to eliminate the corn, up the jalapeno and use rice vinegar in addition to lime juice. Dee-lish! Also all gobbled up by Sunday night, so I'll have to make some more.

9. Dangerously Smashed Potatoes. Yukon golds and russets with butter, heavy whipping cream, more butter and sharp cheddar cheese. Lord have mercy on my soul.

And that's what I did with my weekend. I was going to make a blueberry fruit salad since one of the stalls at the Farmer's Market had big tubs of blueberries on sale for $1.25 each, and the fruit guy who sets up on a corner along Buckingham had four pound bags of cherries for $5 each, but I just ate the blueberries instead. I put the cherries in the freezer for a treat when winter hits.

Maybe I'll just take a little bit of the skin off the bottom. He'll never notice...

We'll Be Back After This Bout Of Depression

Will resume after the weekend.

Craigslist Cars+Trucks Is WAY BETTER Than Yahoo Autos

This is primarily because Yahoo Autos seems to have a lot of people whose vehicles turn out to be Alleged once you get into the details, while Craigslist Cars+Trucks seems to be populated with people who have the actual car in their actual possession sitting in the driveway of the house they actually live in. And that house? It's in this city. It's not in the Czech Republic.

Makes a black girl want to kick SOMEBODY'S ass, I tell you. Here's what happened...